Between Here and Then

Reading this because your life feels different but you can't explain why?
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I don’t know how to describe this season without telling the truth about it.

It feels like loss.
And failure.
And disappointment.

And somehow, at the same time, it also feels like hope.
And possibility.

And I think that’s the part people don’t talk about.

You can grieve a life that didn’t turn out the way you thought,
and still feel something opening.

You can feel like you failed,
and still know you’re not finished.

You can miss who you were,
and still not want to go back.

This season doesn’t arrive the same way for everyone.

For some it’s career.
For some it’s health.
For some it’s kids leaving home.
For some it’s divorce.
For some it’s caring for aging parents.
For some it’s all of it at once.

But it lands in the same place.

The place where you realize:

My life is different now.

And I don’t know how to hold that yet.

It can feel like a crisis.
It can feel like everything is coming apart.

But you are not broken.

You’re standing in a life that doesn’t match the person you were,
and doesn’t yet know how to hold the person you are. You are not a before and you are not an after.

And that is a quiet, lonely, very real place to stand.

I didn’t arrive here peacefully.

But I didn’t arrive here dramatically either.

I arrived here through accumulation.

Through time.
Through experience.
Through things not turning out the way I thought they would.
Through things turning out differently than I imagined.

And now I am here too.

Holding grief and hope in the same body.

Holding disappointment and possibility in the same breath.

Not trying to fix it.
Not trying to brand it.

Just trying to stay honest inside it.

That’s what ONRUSH is.

Not a solution.
Not a story of arrival.

Just a place to stand while all of this exists at the same time.

If you’re here too,

with your career changing,
your body changing,
your family changing,
your sense of self changing,
you’re not late.
You’re not wrong.

You’re just living in the part of life that doesn’t come with language yet.

And I’m not here to give you language for it.

I’m just here to say:

I see it too.

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This is what the Between Here + Then journal was made for.

Space to sit with what's changing. Prompts that don't push you toward answers. Permission to be in it without having to fix it. [Shop the Journal]

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